"Somewhere we know that without silence words lose their meaning, that without listening speaking no longer heals, that without distance closeness cannot cure"
About this Quote
Nouwen smuggles a stern spiritual diagnosis into a sentence that sounds like comfort. The line works because it’s built on a sequence of “without” clauses that tighten like a litany: take away silence, listening, distance, and the very things we rely on - words, speech, intimacy - turn counterfeit. He’s not praising quiet for quiet’s sake; he’s warning that constant output hollows language into noise. In a culture that treats talking as proof of care, Nouwen insists the opposite: the precondition of healing speech is receptivity.
The subtext is pastoral, even clinical. “Speaking no longer heals” is aimed at well-meaning helpers who fill a room with advice, theology, or reassurance to avoid their own discomfort. Listening, for Nouwen, is not passive politeness; it’s an ethical posture that makes room for another person’s reality, including pain that can’t be fixed on schedule. Silence becomes discipline: a refusal to use words as anesthesia.
The most surprising turn is “without distance closeness cannot cure.” He’s poking at the sentimental myth that proximity equals love. Distance here isn’t abandonment; it’s boundaries, patience, and the willingness not to possess. In pastoral care, in friendship, in activism, even in prayer, too much closeness can become control - an attempt to resolve someone else’s suffering to calm our own. Nouwen’s intent is countercultural: real intimacy needs space, or it stops being medicine and starts being pressure.
The subtext is pastoral, even clinical. “Speaking no longer heals” is aimed at well-meaning helpers who fill a room with advice, theology, or reassurance to avoid their own discomfort. Listening, for Nouwen, is not passive politeness; it’s an ethical posture that makes room for another person’s reality, including pain that can’t be fixed on schedule. Silence becomes discipline: a refusal to use words as anesthesia.
The most surprising turn is “without distance closeness cannot cure.” He’s poking at the sentimental myth that proximity equals love. Distance here isn’t abandonment; it’s boundaries, patience, and the willingness not to possess. In pastoral care, in friendship, in activism, even in prayer, too much closeness can become control - an attempt to resolve someone else’s suffering to calm our own. Nouwen’s intent is countercultural: real intimacy needs space, or it stops being medicine and starts being pressure.
Quote Details
| Topic | Wisdom |
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