"Still today, I cannot cross the threshold of a teaching institution without physical symptoms, in my chest and my stomach, of discomfort or anxiety. And yet I have never left school"
About this Quote
Derrida turns the schoolhouse door into a pressure point: a threshold that triggers the body before the mind can even pretend it is in control. For a philosopher famous for distrusting stable foundations, it is a canny confession. The institution that promises clarity and authority shows up, in his nervous system, as dread. He makes the supposedly neutral space of learning feel like a site of discipline, selection, and judgment - not abstractly, but viscerally, in the chest and stomach.
The sting is in the second sentence: "And yet I have never left school". It lands as both punchline and diagnosis. Derrida is not offering a tidy narrative of overcoming trauma; he is naming an attachment that looks suspiciously like dependency. The academic world is framed as something you can resent, fear, even somatize - and still inhabit for life. That contradiction is the subtext: the university as a machine that reproduces itself by capturing those who critique it, converting dissent into seminars, footnotes, and credentials.
Context matters here. Derrida is a product of elite French education, and also a figure marked by exclusion (as an Algerian Jew navigating French institutions and their gatekeeping). The anxiety at the threshold reads as historical memory and personal biography condensed into a physical reflex. The line also doubles as a meta-commentary on deconstruction itself: the work of endlessly reopening texts and systems, never arriving at a final exit. He can analyze the architecture of authority; he still has to walk through its doors.
The sting is in the second sentence: "And yet I have never left school". It lands as both punchline and diagnosis. Derrida is not offering a tidy narrative of overcoming trauma; he is naming an attachment that looks suspiciously like dependency. The academic world is framed as something you can resent, fear, even somatize - and still inhabit for life. That contradiction is the subtext: the university as a machine that reproduces itself by capturing those who critique it, converting dissent into seminars, footnotes, and credentials.
Context matters here. Derrida is a product of elite French education, and also a figure marked by exclusion (as an Algerian Jew navigating French institutions and their gatekeeping). The anxiety at the threshold reads as historical memory and personal biography condensed into a physical reflex. The line also doubles as a meta-commentary on deconstruction itself: the work of endlessly reopening texts and systems, never arriving at a final exit. He can analyze the architecture of authority; he still has to walk through its doors.
Quote Details
| Topic | Anxiety |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
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