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Life & Wisdom Quote by Marcel Proust

"The bonds that unite another person to our self exist only in our mind"

About this Quote

Proust slices through the sentimental fantasy of intimacy with a surgeon's calm: what we call a bond is less a rope between two people than a story we spin inside our own skull. The line carries his signature cruelty-by-clarity. It doesn't deny attachment; it relocates it. Love, friendship, obsession, grief - their force lives in perception, memory, and expectation, not in any enforceable contract with the other person's inner life. That move is pure Proust: psychology as architecture, where the real drama happens in hallways of interpretation.

The intent is not nihilistic but diagnostic. By insisting the bond "exist[s] only in our mind", he exposes how thoroughly we edit other people to fit our needs. We turn them into characters: the beloved as salvation, the friend as mirror, the rival as proof of our own importance. The subtext is an accusation aimed at the self, not the other: your attachment may be less devotion than authorship. The other person becomes raw material for a private novel you mistake for shared reality.

Context matters. Proust writes from a world where social life is performance (salons, status, coded desire), and where time erodes certainty. In In Search of Lost Time, relationships repeatedly reveal their asymmetry: one person is consumed, the other is merely occupied. This sentence works because it reframes heartbreak as epistemology. You're not just losing someone; you're watching your mind's construction collapse - and realizing it was always yours to begin with.

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APA Style (7th ed.)
Proust, Marcel. (2026, January 17). The bonds that unite another person to our self exist only in our mind. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/the-bonds-that-unite-another-person-to-our-self-41636/

Chicago Style
Proust, Marcel. "The bonds that unite another person to our self exist only in our mind." FixQuotes. January 17, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/the-bonds-that-unite-another-person-to-our-self-41636/.

MLA Style (9th ed.)
"The bonds that unite another person to our self exist only in our mind." FixQuotes, 17 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/the-bonds-that-unite-another-person-to-our-self-41636/. Accessed 18 Feb. 2026.

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About the Author

Marcel Proust

Marcel Proust (July 10, 1871 - November 18, 1922) was a Author from France.

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