"The less you talk, the more you're listened to"
About this Quote
Silence, here, isn’t humility; it’s leverage. Abigail Van Buren built an advice empire on the paradox that people crave guidance but distrust performers. “The less you talk, the more you’re listened to” reads like a personal mantra for anyone who’s watched a room tune out the moment a voice starts auditioning for dominance. Van Buren’s intent is tactical: speak sparingly, and your words arrive with the weight of selection rather than the noise of appetite.
The subtext is a little cynical and a little compassionate. Cynical, because it admits that attention is scarce and socially rationed; the person who doesn’t scramble for it often gets granted it. Compassionate, because it also protects the listener. In advice-giving, constant speech can become a form of intrusion, a way to overwrite someone else’s experience. Van Buren is nudging us toward restraint: let the other person occupy the center, and your interventions become clearer, less defensive, more useful.
Context matters: a journalist and advice columnist lives in a world that rewards constant output. This line pushes against her own incentives. It’s a reminder that authority isn’t created by volume; it’s created by judgment. In an era that increasingly confuses presence with significance (from talk radio to social feeds), the quote lands like a quiet correction: scarcity is still a signal. The person who can stop talking long enough to listen is often the only one worth hearing.
The subtext is a little cynical and a little compassionate. Cynical, because it admits that attention is scarce and socially rationed; the person who doesn’t scramble for it often gets granted it. Compassionate, because it also protects the listener. In advice-giving, constant speech can become a form of intrusion, a way to overwrite someone else’s experience. Van Buren is nudging us toward restraint: let the other person occupy the center, and your interventions become clearer, less defensive, more useful.
Context matters: a journalist and advice columnist lives in a world that rewards constant output. This line pushes against her own incentives. It’s a reminder that authority isn’t created by volume; it’s created by judgment. In an era that increasingly confuses presence with significance (from talk radio to social feeds), the quote lands like a quiet correction: scarcity is still a signal. The person who can stop talking long enough to listen is often the only one worth hearing.
Quote Details
| Topic | Wisdom |
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