"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother"
About this Quote
The rhetorical trick is its sideways approach. Instead of praising fathers for what they can do to children, it raises the bar by demanding how they treat someone else. That displacement matters: it’s harder to perform. You can’t reliably fake respect, patience, or steadiness in a shared household the way you can fake a single heroic act.
Coming from Hesburgh, a major Catholic public voice and longtime president of Notre Dame, the context is both pastoral and institutional. In an era when “family values” rhetoric often narrowed into policing women’s roles, he places responsibility squarely on male behavior. Love here isn’t just private feeling; it’s a discipline with social consequences. At the same time, the quote carries a traditional frame - it centers the mother-child bond and assumes a two-parent heterosexual household - which can read as exclusionary today. Even so, its core insight holds: children learn how relationships work by watching the adults who claim to love them.
Quote Details
| Topic | Father |
|---|---|
| Source | Later attribution: A Man's Greatest Challenge... ...Being a Father (David Reedman, 2015) modern compilationISBN: 9781514441565 · ID: FNjXCgAAQBAJ
Evidence: ... The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother . -Theodore Hesburgh If you're reading this as a dad who has never married or who is divorced , you may wonder how this applies to you . Without trying to ... Other candidates (1) Theodore Hesburgh (Theodore Hesburgh) compilation30.0% 26 2015 a priest of the congregation of holy cross was president of the university of notre dame for |
| Featured | This quote was our Quote of the Day on August 8, 2023 |
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Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Hesburgh, Theodore. (2026, January 11). The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/the-most-important-thing-a-father-can-do-for-his-137356/
Chicago Style
Hesburgh, Theodore. "The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." FixQuotes. January 11, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/the-most-important-thing-a-father-can-do-for-his-137356/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." FixQuotes, 11 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/the-most-important-thing-a-father-can-do-for-his-137356/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.





