"The most loving parents and relatives commit murder with smiles on their faces. They force us to destroy the person we really are: a subtle kind of murder"
About this Quote
The intent is provocation, but not just for theatrics. Morrison is naming a specific kind of violence common in mid-century American life, the era he grew up in: the pressure to be normal, productive, polite, and legible. Parents and relatives become the front line of that project, not because they’re villains, but because they’re scared. They’ve learned that difference gets punished, and they pass that fear down as guidance. Smiles matter here. The coercion isn’t delivered as cruelty; it arrives as advice, praise, concern, and the soft blackmail of belonging.
Subtextually, Morrison is defending the unruly interior life - sexuality, ambition, anger, oddness, artistry - the parts that don’t fit in a respectable family photo. "They force us" shifts agency away from the child, framing self-betrayal as a survival tactic: you learn to kill off the inconvenient parts to keep love. That’s why he calls it "subtle": it’s not a single act but a lifelong training in self-censorship, the kind that leaves no scars except the feeling that you’re living someone else’s life.
Quote Details
| Topic | Parenting |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Morrison, Jim. (2026, January 15). The most loving parents and relatives commit murder with smiles on their faces. They force us to destroy the person we really are: a subtle kind of murder. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/the-most-loving-parents-and-relatives-commit-7884/
Chicago Style
Morrison, Jim. "The most loving parents and relatives commit murder with smiles on their faces. They force us to destroy the person we really are: a subtle kind of murder." FixQuotes. January 15, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/the-most-loving-parents-and-relatives-commit-7884/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"The most loving parents and relatives commit murder with smiles on their faces. They force us to destroy the person we really are: a subtle kind of murder." FixQuotes, 15 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/the-most-loving-parents-and-relatives-commit-7884/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.








