"The practice of assuming authority figures know best what one needs, for example, is a mark of someone whose self-esteem is vulnerable"
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Deference, in Sinetar's framing, isn’t just a social habit; it’s a psychological tell. The line needles a particularly modern reflex: outsourcing one’s inner compass to institutions, experts, bosses, gurus, even “good intentions.” By calling it a “practice,” she strips the behavior of innocence. This isn’t an occasional moment of trust; it’s a rehearsed stance that shapes identity over time.
Her real target is the soothing myth that submission is maturity. “Authority figures know best” masquerades as practicality and respect, but Sinetar reads it as self-protection: if someone else is the author of your choices, you don’t have to risk being wrong in your own name. That’s where the self-esteem diagnosis lands. Vulnerable self-esteem isn’t loud insecurity; it’s the fragile sense of self that needs external validation to feel real. The subtext is bracing: people don’t cling to authority because they’re weak-minded, but because uncertainty hurts, and obedience offers a ready-made narrative of safety.
Contextually, Sinetar’s era matters. Coming out of late-20th-century humanistic psychology and self-actualization culture, she’s pushing against bureaucratic expertise and the “professionalization” of everyday life: therapists, administrators, credentialed arbiters of taste and health and success. The sentence doubles as a cultural critique of dependency dressed up as responsibility, arguing that genuine confidence isn’t anti-expert; it’s the ability to consult authority without surrendering authorship of your needs.
Her real target is the soothing myth that submission is maturity. “Authority figures know best” masquerades as practicality and respect, but Sinetar reads it as self-protection: if someone else is the author of your choices, you don’t have to risk being wrong in your own name. That’s where the self-esteem diagnosis lands. Vulnerable self-esteem isn’t loud insecurity; it’s the fragile sense of self that needs external validation to feel real. The subtext is bracing: people don’t cling to authority because they’re weak-minded, but because uncertainty hurts, and obedience offers a ready-made narrative of safety.
Contextually, Sinetar’s era matters. Coming out of late-20th-century humanistic psychology and self-actualization culture, she’s pushing against bureaucratic expertise and the “professionalization” of everyday life: therapists, administrators, credentialed arbiters of taste and health and success. The sentence doubles as a cultural critique of dependency dressed up as responsibility, arguing that genuine confidence isn’t anti-expert; it’s the ability to consult authority without surrendering authorship of your needs.
Quote Details
| Topic | Confidence |
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