"The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard"

David Gerrold’s witty observation about the gene pool and its lack of a lifeguard operates on multiple layers of criticism and humor. By referring to the metaphorical gene pool, the sum total of genetic material in humanity, as if it were a literal swimming pool, he draws attention to the randomness, unpredictability, and potential danger associated with unregulated mixing of genes. The absence of a lifeguard points to the lack of oversight, control, or moderation in how traits, tendencies, and perhaps less desirable characteristics continue to propagate through human generations.

This idea hints at frustrations with the apparent irrationality or folly found within human behavior. If bizarre or problematic traits, be they physical, intellectual, or behavioral, persist, the implication is that nobody is ensuring the well-being or improvement of society’s genetic legacy. The humor arises from the juxtaposition of a childlike solution (a lifeguard watching swimmers) to an impossibly complex and weighty natural process like heredity, thus underscoring both the overwhelming challenge and the impossibility of intervention.

The remark also pokes fun at the idea of controlling or overseeing human evolution. Scientific advances such as selective breeding or genetic engineering may promise some measure of influence, but ethical, practical, and philosophical constraints abound. Gerrold’s comment suggests a resigned acceptance that human shortcomings, quirks, and vulnerabilities are a permanent part of our collective makeup. Rather than suggest eugenics or social engineering as solutions, he uses satire to highlight collective human folly and the limits of our control over our own destiny.

Finally, there is an unspoken encouragement to humility. The statement prompts self-reflection about personal and societal flaws and recognizes that, for better or for worse, the diversity of humanity, including its imperfections, is an unavoidable and defining feature. By framing it humorously, Gerrold invites us to approach our shared shortcomings with tolerance, understanding, and perhaps a sense of camaraderie in our mutual absurdity.