"The second we see somebody on the street or meet someone, we make snap judgments about them, about who they are and why we wouldn't necessarily sit with them or why we would or what's cool or not cool"

Meeting someone for the first time, even just passing them on the street, sparks an immediate, almost involuntary assessment. Without taking time to learn their story or intentions, we observe subtle cues, clothing, body language, hairstyle, facial expression, and our brains leap to conclusions. These judgments happen so quickly and seamlessly we might not even be aware they’re happening at all, powered by years of social conditioning, cultural background, and personal biases. By instinctively deciding who fits in and who stands out, who seems approachable and who appears off-limits, people create mental barriers long before words are ever exchanged.

At the heart of this process is a desire to find comfort and safety in the familiar. Our judgments reflect not only what we find appealing or “cool” but also what seems threatening, strange, or outside the norm. Selecting who we’d choose to sit beside or avoid can rest on the flimsiest of impressions, a style of dress, a choice of accessories, even the way someone walks. Society’s standards further complicate this: certain trends, appearances, and attitudes are labeled as desirable or respectable, while others are dismissed or even scorned without fair consideration.

This tendency for snap judgments can perpetuate exclusivity and reinforce unconscious prejudices. Each time someone is quickly categorized or dismissed, opportunities for genuine connection are lost. By recognizing this impulse, there’s potential for greater empathy and mindfulness. Pausing, even momentarily, to question automatic assessments can break the cycle, opening us to richer, more authentic interactions. Rather than being governed by arbitrary distinctions of “cool” or “uncool,” people can choose to see the individual behind the surface, challenging assumptions and perhaps discovering common ground where none appeared to exist at first glance.