"The sharing of joy, whether physical, emotional, psychic, or intellectual, forms a bridge between the sharers which can be the basis for understanding much of what is not shared between them, and lessens the threat of their difference"
About this Quote
Joy is doing political work here, not self-care work. Audre Lorde treats it as infrastructure: a bridge sturdy enough to hold people who do not naturally meet in the middle. The line’s power comes from how it demotes sameness. Understanding doesn’t start with agreement; it starts with a shared charge, a lived intensity that proves another person’s interiority is real. That’s why she stacks the registers of joy (physical, emotional, psychic, intellectual) like a manifesto against narrow definitions of intimacy. She’s insisting that connection is not limited to romance, not limited to “liking,” not limited to the polite liberal fantasy of harmony.
The subtext is sharper: difference becomes “threat” when it’s only encountered as abstraction. Institutions train us to approach one another through categories that feel like liabilities or risks. Lorde proposes a shortcut around that fear, not by denying difference, but by giving people a reason to stay present long enough to face it. Shared joy doesn’t erase conflict; it lowers the reflex to treat the other as enemy, oddity, or problem to manage.
Context matters because Lorde is writing as a Black lesbian feminist poet who knew how quickly “difference” gets weaponized even inside movements that claim solidarity. Her bridge isn’t naive optimism; it’s strategy. Joy becomes evidence of common stakes, a mutual recognition that can survive disagreement. It’s also a rebuke to cultures that use pain as the primary proof of authenticity: Lorde argues that pleasure and delight can be just as rigorous, just as mobilizing, and far more dangerous to systems that depend on isolation.
The subtext is sharper: difference becomes “threat” when it’s only encountered as abstraction. Institutions train us to approach one another through categories that feel like liabilities or risks. Lorde proposes a shortcut around that fear, not by denying difference, but by giving people a reason to stay present long enough to face it. Shared joy doesn’t erase conflict; it lowers the reflex to treat the other as enemy, oddity, or problem to manage.
Context matters because Lorde is writing as a Black lesbian feminist poet who knew how quickly “difference” gets weaponized even inside movements that claim solidarity. Her bridge isn’t naive optimism; it’s strategy. Joy becomes evidence of common stakes, a mutual recognition that can survive disagreement. It’s also a rebuke to cultures that use pain as the primary proof of authenticity: Lorde argues that pleasure and delight can be just as rigorous, just as mobilizing, and far more dangerous to systems that depend on isolation.
Quote Details
| Topic | Friendship |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
More Quotes by Audre
Add to List







