"There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth"
About this Quote
Friendship is often described as selfless, yet Chanakya, the Mauryan-era strategist and author of the Arthashastra, reminds us that bonds endure because they serve human needs. Companionship offers safety, status, joy, affirmation, or access to networks; it cushions hardship and amplifies success. Calling this a bitter truth punctures sentimental ideals, not to belittle affection, but to anchor it in how people actually behave.
As a political realist, Chanakya taught rulers that alliances last when interests align and collapse when they do not. The same logic governs private life. Reciprocity holds friendships together: we give time, attention, and help with an unspoken expectation of respect, loyalty, and support in return. This is not a cynical ledger of debts but a recognition that mutual benefit is the glue of trust. When the exchange becomes one-sided, resentment grows and the bond frays.
Self-interest here need not be crude or exploitative. It can be enlightened: the wish to become better through association, to live by shared values, to protect each others dignity, to find meaning in shared struggle. Such motives are still interests, and acknowledging them brings clarity. It helps choose companions whose aims and temperament fit your own, set honest boundaries, and accept that friendships evolve as circumstances change.
The claim is bitter because it collides with the romantic picture of pure selflessness. Yet it can deepen gratitude. If a friend stands by you, it is not only because you need them, but because they see something worth investing in. That recognition invites responsibility: to be reliable, to keep faith, to ensure the benefits flow both ways.
Chanakyas world of governance and espionage sharpened his eye for motive, but the counsel travels well beyond courts and campaigns. Durable friendship is not the absence of self-interest; it is the alignment of interests with empathy and fairness, so that utility and affection reinforce each other.
As a political realist, Chanakya taught rulers that alliances last when interests align and collapse when they do not. The same logic governs private life. Reciprocity holds friendships together: we give time, attention, and help with an unspoken expectation of respect, loyalty, and support in return. This is not a cynical ledger of debts but a recognition that mutual benefit is the glue of trust. When the exchange becomes one-sided, resentment grows and the bond frays.
Self-interest here need not be crude or exploitative. It can be enlightened: the wish to become better through association, to live by shared values, to protect each others dignity, to find meaning in shared struggle. Such motives are still interests, and acknowledging them brings clarity. It helps choose companions whose aims and temperament fit your own, set honest boundaries, and accept that friendships evolve as circumstances change.
The claim is bitter because it collides with the romantic picture of pure selflessness. Yet it can deepen gratitude. If a friend stands by you, it is not only because you need them, but because they see something worth investing in. That recognition invites responsibility: to be reliable, to keep faith, to ensure the benefits flow both ways.
Chanakyas world of governance and espionage sharpened his eye for motive, but the counsel travels well beyond courts and campaigns. Durable friendship is not the absence of self-interest; it is the alignment of interests with empathy and fairness, so that utility and affection reinforce each other.
Quote Details
| Topic | Fake Friends |
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