"They who are all things to their neighbors cease to be anything to themselves"
About this Quote
The phrasing does the heavy lifting. “Neighbors” sounds modest, even wholesome, which makes the critique sharper; this isn’t about fame or grand sacrifice, but the everyday tyranny of proximity. “Cease to be” carries an almost bureaucratic finality, as if identity can be revoked by overuse. The sentence doesn’t accuse the neighbors of cruelty; it implies something more unsettling: the erosion is voluntary, incremental, and socially rewarded.
Douglas wrote as a cosmopolitan observer of manners and motives, suspicious of moral posturing and the sentimental stories societies tell about virtue. Read in that early-20th-century key, the quote nudges at the performance of respectability - the way “goodness” can become a kind of camouflage for fear, indecision, or the refusal to risk being disliked. Its intent feels less like a manifesto than a corrective: if you can’t tolerate having boundaries, you’ll eventually outsource your identity to whoever is closest, loudest, or most pleased with you.
Quote Details
| Topic | Self-Love |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Douglas, Norman. (2026, January 18). They who are all things to their neighbors cease to be anything to themselves. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/they-who-are-all-things-to-their-neighbors-cease-7517/
Chicago Style
Douglas, Norman. "They who are all things to their neighbors cease to be anything to themselves." FixQuotes. January 18, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/they-who-are-all-things-to-their-neighbors-cease-7517/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"They who are all things to their neighbors cease to be anything to themselves." FixQuotes, 18 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/they-who-are-all-things-to-their-neighbors-cease-7517/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.







