"This kind of forgetting does not erase memory, it lays the emotion surrounding the memory to rest"
About this Quote
The intent is quietly radical. Estes separates "what happened" from "what it still does to you", suggesting that closure isn't a verdict but a physiological shift. The phrasing "lays...to rest" borrows the language of burial rites, giving grief a dignified end-point without pretending the dead never existed. It's a spiritualized metaphor, but it lands because it's practical: anyone who's revisited an old wound and found it oddly quiet recognizes the phenomenon.
Subtext: you are not obligated to perform perpetual feeling as proof of sincerity. In cultures that often treat trauma as identity and rumination as moral seriousness, Estes offers permission to step out of the loop. There's also an implicit critique of "forgetting" as it's usually demanded - a social command to shut up and get over it. Her version doesn't erase; it integrates.
Context matters: Estes writes as a poet steeped in myth, therapy language, and women's interior life. She speaks to readers who've been told their memories are too much, then told they're cold if they stop bleeding. This line threads that needle: remembrance without re-injury.
Quote Details
| Topic | Letting Go |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Estes, Clarissa Pinkola. (2026, January 15). This kind of forgetting does not erase memory, it lays the emotion surrounding the memory to rest. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/this-kind-of-forgetting-does-not-erase-memory-it-161932/
Chicago Style
Estes, Clarissa Pinkola. "This kind of forgetting does not erase memory, it lays the emotion surrounding the memory to rest." FixQuotes. January 15, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/this-kind-of-forgetting-does-not-erase-memory-it-161932/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"This kind of forgetting does not erase memory, it lays the emotion surrounding the memory to rest." FixQuotes, 15 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/this-kind-of-forgetting-does-not-erase-memory-it-161932/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.








