"To get a hold on boys you must be their friend"
About this Quote
The context matters. Baden-Powell is a soldier-educator at the hinge of empire, when anxieties about national fitness, discipline, and masculinity were being routed through youth organizations. The Boy Scouts, which he helped build, offered an appealing alternative to the factory, the street, or the classroom: adventure, competence, belonging. In that climate, the quote functions as a manual for influence. It suggests adult authority can't simply be commanded; it has to be earned through proximity, shared play, and trust.
The subtext is paternalism with a smile. He's arguing that boys resist naked instruction but will accept direction from someone who feels like an ally. It's an early acknowledgement of what we'd now call relational leadership: credibility is social before it's institutional. Yet the phrase also exposes an ethical tension still live today in coaching, mentoring, and youth ministry: when does friendship become instrumental? Baden-Powell's brilliance is recognizing that loyalty is built, not imposed; his blind spot is how easily that insight can justify manipulation in the name of "character."
Quote Details
| Topic | Friendship |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Baden-Powell, Robert. (2026, January 18). To get a hold on boys you must be their friend. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/to-get-a-hold-on-boys-you-must-be-their-friend-17062/
Chicago Style
Baden-Powell, Robert. "To get a hold on boys you must be their friend." FixQuotes. January 18, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/to-get-a-hold-on-boys-you-must-be-their-friend-17062/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"To get a hold on boys you must be their friend." FixQuotes, 18 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/to-get-a-hold-on-boys-you-must-be-their-friend-17062/. Accessed 8 Feb. 2026.










