Parenting & Family Quote by Pierre Salinger

Grief has a social script, and Pierre Salinger is pointing to where that script breaks. To lose a child is already an inversion of the expected order, “a terrible thing.” But suicide, he argues, adds a second injury: not just absence, but the haunting implication of choice, the nagging question of preventability, the corrosive feeling that someone should have seen it coming. His word swap matters. “Terrible” is tragedy you can mourn in public; “horrible” is tragedy plus taboo, the kind that invites judgment, silence, and a long afterlife of what-ifs.

Salinger’s intent is both compassionate and political in the small-p sense: he’s naming a category of pain that people often force into euphemism. The phrasing “taken his or her life” is careful, even old-fashioned, avoiding sensational language while still insisting on the stark reality. That restraint signals a public servant’s instinct: speak plainly, but not luridly; make room for empathy without turning a private catastrophe into spectacle.

The subtext is a quiet indictment of how communities handle suicide. Parents bereaved by illness or accident are typically met with casseroles and condolences. Parents bereaved by suicide often meet suspicion, awkwardness, or a retreating circle of friends. By distinguishing “terrible” from “horrible,” Salinger isn’t ranking grief for drama; he’s describing the added burden of stigma and self-blame, and implicitly asking for a different civic response: less judgment, more support, earlier intervention.