"Understand that sexuality is as wide as the sea. Understand that your morality is not law. Understand that we are you. Understand that if we decide to have sex whether safe, safer, or unsafe, it is our decision and you have no rights in our lovemaking"
About this Quote
The second line is the blade: "your morality is not law". In the AIDS-era Britain Jarman lived through, morality routinely tried to become policy - via stigma, censorship, and a public-health discourse that slid into punishment. The quote insists on a boundary: ethical beliefs may be personal, but they don’t earn jurisdiction over other people’s bodies.
Then he turns the mirror: "we are you". That’s not kumbaya. It’s an accusation aimed at the comforting fiction that queerness is an exotic minority problem, safely quarantined from "normal" life. He collapses the distance that makes discrimination feel abstract.
The last sentence is deliberately incendiary. By naming "safe, safer, or unsafe", he refuses the era’s pressure to let gay men exist only as model patients. Autonomy includes the right to risk, the right to desire imperfectly - a claim that’s uncomfortable on purpose. Jarman isn’t arguing against care; he’s arguing against ownership. The subtext is simple and furious: your fear doesn’t grant you title to our pleasure.
Quote Details
| Topic | Human Rights |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Jarman, Derek. (2026, January 16). Understand that sexuality is as wide as the sea. Understand that your morality is not law. Understand that we are you. Understand that if we decide to have sex whether safe, safer, or unsafe, it is our decision and you have no rights in our lovemaking. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/understand-that-sexuality-is-as-wide-as-the-sea-111288/
Chicago Style
Jarman, Derek. "Understand that sexuality is as wide as the sea. Understand that your morality is not law. Understand that we are you. Understand that if we decide to have sex whether safe, safer, or unsafe, it is our decision and you have no rights in our lovemaking." FixQuotes. January 16, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/understand-that-sexuality-is-as-wide-as-the-sea-111288/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"Understand that sexuality is as wide as the sea. Understand that your morality is not law. Understand that we are you. Understand that if we decide to have sex whether safe, safer, or unsafe, it is our decision and you have no rights in our lovemaking." FixQuotes, 16 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/understand-that-sexuality-is-as-wide-as-the-sea-111288/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.



