"We all have that burning question about what happens if we lose somebody we love, especially if we lose them tragically. We wonder what fear was going on, we wonder if we could have reached out and touched them, held their hand, looked in their eyes, been there"
About this Quote
The quote works because it refuses the comforting mythology that death is clean or meaningful. Instead, it names the messy questions people often censor: "what fear was going on" is blunt, physical, unpoetic. Costner doesn't talk about souls or closure; he talks about hands, eyes, being there. That sensory inventory is the subtextual accusation grief levels at the living: you had a body, you could have shown up. It's also a small rebellion against the helplessness that tragedy imposes. If you can imagine reaching out, you can imagine agency, even if it's fantasy.
As an actor, Costner's language carries the cadence of a scene: intimate, close-up, built around touch and eye contact. In a culture that processes loss through memorials, tributes, and news cycles, he's describing the quieter sequel - the survivor's obsession with proximity, and the way love turns into an after-the-fact search party for a moment you can never enter.
Quote Details
| Topic | Mortality |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Costner, Kevin. (2026, January 16). We all have that burning question about what happens if we lose somebody we love, especially if we lose them tragically. We wonder what fear was going on, we wonder if we could have reached out and touched them, held their hand, looked in their eyes, been there. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/we-all-have-that-burning-question-about-what-107468/
Chicago Style
Costner, Kevin. "We all have that burning question about what happens if we lose somebody we love, especially if we lose them tragically. We wonder what fear was going on, we wonder if we could have reached out and touched them, held their hand, looked in their eyes, been there." FixQuotes. January 16, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/we-all-have-that-burning-question-about-what-107468/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"We all have that burning question about what happens if we lose somebody we love, especially if we lose them tragically. We wonder what fear was going on, we wonder if we could have reached out and touched them, held their hand, looked in their eyes, been there." FixQuotes, 16 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/we-all-have-that-burning-question-about-what-107468/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.










