"We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for"
About this Quote
The real sting is in the second “care.” The first is about affection or respect (“those we don’t care for”); the second is about obsession (“we even care for the opinion”). She uses the same verb to show how easily our emotional vocabulary collapses under scrutiny. Disdain doesn’t cancel desire; it can intensify it. If someone is beneath us, their judgment shouldn’t matter. When it does, our hierarchy is exposed as performance: we need the audience to boo or cheer so we can feel real.
As a late-19th-century novelist writing in the social pressure-cooker of Austro-Hungarian bourgeois life, Ebner-Eschenbach knew how reputations were manufactured in salons, newspapers, and polite circles where “not caring” was itself a status signal. The line anticipates modern attention culture with eerie precision: the subtweet, the hate-read, the compulsive check of comments from strangers you’d never invite to dinner. Vanity isn’t just wanting praise. It’s being unable to tolerate unregistered existence.
Quote Details
| Topic | Wisdom |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Ebner-Eschenbach, Marie von. (2026, January 16). We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/we-are-so-vain-that-we-even-care-for-the-opinion-136471/
Chicago Style
Ebner-Eschenbach, Marie von. "We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for." FixQuotes. January 16, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/we-are-so-vain-that-we-even-care-for-the-opinion-136471/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for." FixQuotes, 16 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/we-are-so-vain-that-we-even-care-for-the-opinion-136471/. Accessed 22 Feb. 2026.










