"We cannot always oblige; but we can always speak obligingly"
About this Quote
The intent is pragmatic and faintly accusatory. Voltaire is talking to a world of patrons, courts, salons, and censors where saying “no” could cost you a career or a head. In that environment, language becomes a pressure valve: you refuse without provoking, dissent without declaring war, maintain dignity without inviting retaliation. The subtext is a sly admission that humans are often unreasonable, and the least destructive form of resistance is verbal grace.
It also carries Voltaire’s signature irony. “Obligingly” hints at performance: civility as a chosen posture, not proof of virtue. He’s not romanticizing niceness; he’s prescribing it as a technique for living among egos. The line flatters the listener with agency (“always”), then quietly shifts responsibility: if you escalate a conflict, you can’t claim circumstance made you rude.
In an age addicted to the righteousness of bluntness, Voltaire’s maxim reads like a rebuke. Courtesy, he implies, isn’t surrender; it’s strategy.
Quote Details
| Topic | Kindness |
|---|---|
| Source | Attributed to Voltaire. Quotation: "We cannot always oblige; but we can always speak obligingly." See Voltaire — Wikiquote (attribution listed; primary source not cited). |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Voltaire. (2026, January 17). We cannot always oblige; but we can always speak obligingly. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/we-cannot-always-oblige-but-we-can-always-speak-34899/
Chicago Style
Voltaire. "We cannot always oblige; but we can always speak obligingly." FixQuotes. January 17, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/we-cannot-always-oblige-but-we-can-always-speak-34899/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"We cannot always oblige; but we can always speak obligingly." FixQuotes, 17 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/we-cannot-always-oblige-but-we-can-always-speak-34899/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.










