"We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly"
About this Quote
The intent is corrective, aimed at a modern romantic marketplace that trains people to shop for compatibility like specs on a phone. “Perfect person” evokes consumer fantasy, the swipe-era hope that somewhere out there is a frictionless fit. Keen punctures that with “imperfect person,” then makes his real move: “perfectly” doesn’t mean ignoring flaws; it means seeing the whole person with enough clarity and generosity that their rough edges stop reading as disqualifications.
The subtext is both tender and demanding. It flatters the reader’s capacity for depth while quietly insisting on discipline: attention, patience, the willingness to revise your expectations. There’s also an ethical undercurrent. If love is a way of seeing, it becomes a practice you’re responsible for, not a feeling you’re entitled to. That shifts blame away from the partner’s failure to be ideal and toward our own habits of judgment.
Context matters: Keen, writing out of late-20th-century humanistic psychology and self-help culture, prized growth over destiny. This sentence carries that era’s faith that intimacy is made, not found, and that “perfect” can be a verb - something you do with your eyes open.
Quote Details
| Topic | Love |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Keen, Sam. (2026, January 14). We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/we-come-to-love-not-by-finding-a-perfect-person-119683/
Chicago Style
Keen, Sam. "We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." FixQuotes. January 14, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/we-come-to-love-not-by-finding-a-perfect-person-119683/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." FixQuotes, 14 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/we-come-to-love-not-by-finding-a-perfect-person-119683/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.












