"We easily forgive our friends those faults that do no affect us ourselves"
About this Quote
Forgiveness, La Rochefoucauld suggests, is less a moral virtue than a comfort-level setting. We pardon our friends most readily when their flaws cost us nothing. It’s a line that flatters no one: the generous friend is unmasked as a shrewd accountant, tallying inconveniences and calling the tally "character."
The bite is in the sentence’s quiet self-implication. He doesn’t accuse us of hypocrisy in the loud way; he simply makes self-interest the default setting of social life. The subtext is that friendship, often sold as a sanctuary from selfishness, is frequently governed by it. If your friend is vain, impulsive, or unreliable-but only in ways that never land on your doorstep-you can afford to be magnanimous. Your mercy becomes a kind of luxury good, available when the price is low.
Context matters: La Rochefoucauld wrote in the pressure cooker of 17th-century French court life, where alliances were delicate, reputation was currency, and moral language often served as camouflage for ambition. His Maximes are built to puncture the polite myths that let elites feel principled while behaving strategically. This aphorism works because it turns "forgiveness" into a diagnostic tool: ask what you excuse, and you’ll learn what you value. It’s not an argument against friendship so much as a warning against mistaking our tolerance for proof of our goodness.
The bite is in the sentence’s quiet self-implication. He doesn’t accuse us of hypocrisy in the loud way; he simply makes self-interest the default setting of social life. The subtext is that friendship, often sold as a sanctuary from selfishness, is frequently governed by it. If your friend is vain, impulsive, or unreliable-but only in ways that never land on your doorstep-you can afford to be magnanimous. Your mercy becomes a kind of luxury good, available when the price is low.
Context matters: La Rochefoucauld wrote in the pressure cooker of 17th-century French court life, where alliances were delicate, reputation was currency, and moral language often served as camouflage for ambition. His Maximes are built to puncture the polite myths that let elites feel principled while behaving strategically. This aphorism works because it turns "forgiveness" into a diagnostic tool: ask what you excuse, and you’ll learn what you value. It’s not an argument against friendship so much as a warning against mistaking our tolerance for proof of our goodness.
Quote Details
| Topic | Friendship |
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