"We lavish on animals the love we are afraid to show to people. They might not return it; or worse, they might"
About this Quote
Mignon McLaughlin, the mid-20th-century journalist and master of aphorisms, distills a sharp insight about intimacy and self-protection. We pour tenderness into animals because it feels safe. Pets receive affection without judgment, without bargaining, without the tangled reciprocity that human relationships demand. The risk of loving a person is twofold: they might not love us back, exposing our longing and need; or, as her pivot suggests, they might return it, which is sometimes scarier. Returned love insists on vulnerability, mutuality, and the unpredictable work of attachment.
The line turns on that sly phrase, or worse, they might. It flips the expected fear of rejection into a deeper anxiety about being seen and claimed. If someone loves us back, we become responsible to that bond; we must negotiate limits, reveal flaws, surrender control. Intimacy asks for time, compromise, and the possibility of loss. It brings not just comfort but obligations that can threaten autonomy. Loving a pet, by contrast, is an asymmetry we can manage. The animal is devoted, mute about our failures, a companion who will not turn affection into a mirror that reflects back our insecurities.
McLaughlin wrote often about the nervous tics of modern life, and this epigram, likely from The Neurotic’s Notebook, captures the ambivalence of a culture that prizes independence and fears dependence. It hints at how people displace affectionate energy into spaces where the stakes are low. The lavishness signals not only generosity but also avoidance, a strategy to enjoy warmth without confronting the costs of mutual love.
The remark is witty, but the sting remains: safety can be a refuge and a trap. Animals console our need to nurture, yet they cannot teach the courage required for human reciprocity. The line gently urges a reckoning with the paradox of love: we flee the very return we crave because it will change us.
The line turns on that sly phrase, or worse, they might. It flips the expected fear of rejection into a deeper anxiety about being seen and claimed. If someone loves us back, we become responsible to that bond; we must negotiate limits, reveal flaws, surrender control. Intimacy asks for time, compromise, and the possibility of loss. It brings not just comfort but obligations that can threaten autonomy. Loving a pet, by contrast, is an asymmetry we can manage. The animal is devoted, mute about our failures, a companion who will not turn affection into a mirror that reflects back our insecurities.
McLaughlin wrote often about the nervous tics of modern life, and this epigram, likely from The Neurotic’s Notebook, captures the ambivalence of a culture that prizes independence and fears dependence. It hints at how people displace affectionate energy into spaces where the stakes are low. The lavishness signals not only generosity but also avoidance, a strategy to enjoy warmth without confronting the costs of mutual love.
The remark is witty, but the sting remains: safety can be a refuge and a trap. Animals console our need to nurture, yet they cannot teach the courage required for human reciprocity. The line gently urges a reckoning with the paradox of love: we flee the very return we crave because it will change us.
Quote Details
| Topic | Pet Love |
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