"We must be our own before we can be another's"
About this Quote
The phrase “be our own” does a lot of work. It suggests ownership, yes, but also authorship: you have to write yourself before you can sign onto someone else’s script. Emerson’s Transcendentalist context matters here: the 19th-century American project of self-making, the suspicion of institutions, the faith that conscience outranks custom. In that light, “another’s” isn’t just romantic belonging; it’s the broader pressure to become a tool of family expectation, church doctrine, party politics, even reform movements that flatten the individual in the name of the cause.
The subtext is sharper than it looks: dependence masquerades as devotion. If you don’t know what you believe, your “yes” to others is just fear of isolation dressed up as virtue. Emerson’s rhetorical neatness - the mirror-like “our own / another’s” - turns a private ethic into a public standard: real commitment requires a self sturdy enough to risk disagreement. That’s not selfishness. It’s consent with a spine.
Quote Details
| Topic | Self-Love |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Emerson, Ralph Waldo. (2026, January 17). We must be our own before we can be another's. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/we-must-be-our-own-before-we-can-be-anothers-33005/
Chicago Style
Emerson, Ralph Waldo. "We must be our own before we can be another's." FixQuotes. January 17, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/we-must-be-our-own-before-we-can-be-anothers-33005/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"We must be our own before we can be another's." FixQuotes, 17 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/we-must-be-our-own-before-we-can-be-anothers-33005/. Accessed 13 Feb. 2026.







