"We must become acquainted with our emotional household: we must see our feelings as they actually are, not as we assume they are. This breaks their hypnotic and damaging hold on us"
About this Quote
The key move is the split between “as they actually are” and “as we assume they are.” Howard isn’t accusing us of having the wrong emotions; he’s accusing us of narrating them wrong. Assumptions are where ego hides: the reflexive story that you’re “angry because they disrespected you,” “anxious because the world is unsafe,” “sad because you’re broken.” Those scripts feel explanatory, but they’re often self-serving and self-perpetuating. “Acquainted” implies patient, repeated contact rather than a single breakthrough moment. You don’t conquer the household; you learn its patterns.
“Hypnotic” is doing heavy lifting. It frames emotion not as truth but as trance: an absorbing state that narrows attention, makes the same thoughts loop, and recruits the body into compliance. The subtext is quietly confrontational: you’re not powerless; you’re spellbound. And the “damaging hold” suggests consequences beyond mood - choices, relationships, identity. The context, consistent with Howard’s mid-century self-help and spiritual-psychology lineage, is anti-indulgence without being anti-feeling: the goal isn’t suppression, it’s seeing. For Howard, clarity isn’t comfort. It’s liberation.
Quote Details
| Topic | Self-Improvement |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Howard, Vernon. (2026, January 17). We must become acquainted with our emotional household: we must see our feelings as they actually are, not as we assume they are. This breaks their hypnotic and damaging hold on us. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/we-must-become-acquainted-with-our-emotional-73354/
Chicago Style
Howard, Vernon. "We must become acquainted with our emotional household: we must see our feelings as they actually are, not as we assume they are. This breaks their hypnotic and damaging hold on us." FixQuotes. January 17, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/we-must-become-acquainted-with-our-emotional-73354/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"We must become acquainted with our emotional household: we must see our feelings as they actually are, not as we assume they are. This breaks their hypnotic and damaging hold on us." FixQuotes, 17 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/we-must-become-acquainted-with-our-emotional-73354/. Accessed 7 Feb. 2026.








