"Whatever the course, whether the course was boring or interesting to me, whether I was talented in mathematics or not talented in languages, my parents expected A's"
About this Quote
Achievement isn’t framed here as a personality trait; it’s a household policy. Perl’s line is blunt, almost bureaucratic in its repetition: “whether... whether...” He stacks excuses in advance and disallows them. Boredom, interest, innate talent, the popular myth of being “a math person” but not “a language person” - none of it earns a waiver. The rhetorical move matters: he’s not reminiscing about a single demanding teacher or a competitive school. He’s describing a family standard that treated effort as non-negotiable and grades as the public receipt.
The subtext is both motivational and unsettling. On one hand, it’s a blueprint for the kind of disciplined competence that scientific careers quietly require. Physics isn’t a straight line of fascination; it’s long stretches of grind, ambiguity, and problem sets that don’t flatter your ego. Parents who normalize high expectations across subjects are, in effect, training a child to push past the seductive narrative of “I’m just not good at that.” That mindset can be the difference between someone who hits a wall in research and someone who keeps chiseling.
On the other hand, Perl’s even-handed “expected A’s” hints at a pressure system that doesn’t care about temperament. It’s meritocratic in tone but not necessarily in feel: love may not be conditional, yet approval can start to sound quantified. Read in context - a 20th-century scientist shaped before today’s therapeutic language about burnout - it captures an older American bargain: excellence buys mobility, and comfort is earned, not assumed.
The subtext is both motivational and unsettling. On one hand, it’s a blueprint for the kind of disciplined competence that scientific careers quietly require. Physics isn’t a straight line of fascination; it’s long stretches of grind, ambiguity, and problem sets that don’t flatter your ego. Parents who normalize high expectations across subjects are, in effect, training a child to push past the seductive narrative of “I’m just not good at that.” That mindset can be the difference between someone who hits a wall in research and someone who keeps chiseling.
On the other hand, Perl’s even-handed “expected A’s” hints at a pressure system that doesn’t care about temperament. It’s meritocratic in tone but not necessarily in feel: love may not be conditional, yet approval can start to sound quantified. Read in context - a 20th-century scientist shaped before today’s therapeutic language about burnout - it captures an older American bargain: excellence buys mobility, and comfort is earned, not assumed.
Quote Details
| Topic | Parenting |
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