"When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one"
About this Quote
As a journalist writing in an era when marriage functioned as a primary economic and social destiny for women, Rowland is needling the institution from inside the only safe place available to many female writers: wit. The barb is aimed less at individual men than at the promise marriage sold. Courtship is depicted as a competitive market where attention is abundant; marriage is a monopoly where the “winner” stops trying. That’s the subtext: the system rewards performance before commitment, then normalizes emotional complacency after it.
There’s also a quietly radical edge. By describing attention as a kind of currency exchanged, Rowland frames romance as transaction, not fate. That framing exposes how gender roles script behavior: men perform attentiveness to secure a wife; wives are expected to accept whatever follows as the price of legitimacy.
The line survives because it still reads as recognizably modern: the fear that partnership can shrink your social world and dull your desirability. It’s not a timeless truth so much as a timeless anxiety, sharpened into a one-sentence indictment.
Quote Details
| Topic | Marriage |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Rowland, Helen. (2026, January 15). When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/when-a-girl-marries-she-exchanges-the-attentions-33241/
Chicago Style
Rowland, Helen. "When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one." FixQuotes. January 15, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/when-a-girl-marries-she-exchanges-the-attentions-33241/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one." FixQuotes, 15 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/when-a-girl-marries-she-exchanges-the-attentions-33241/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.










