"When I am getting ready to reason with a man, I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself and what I am going to say and two-thirds about him and what he is going to say"
About this Quote
Lincoln frames persuasion as a discipline of humility, not a performance of brilliance. The arithmetic is the point: inverting the usual ratio of self-regard, he turns “reason” into an act of diagnosis. Two-thirds of the labor belongs to the other person because arguments don’t land in the abstract; they land in someone’s pride, fears, loyalties, and private incentives. The subtext is almost clinical: if you haven’t predicted what he will say, you haven’t earned the right to be heard.
Coming from a president who navigated a fracturing republic, the line reads like field craft. Lincoln spent years arguing cases before juries and negotiating with rivals, then carried that habit into wartime politics where every coalition was brittle and every word could ignite. “Reason with a man” quietly acknowledges resistance: you’re not chatting, you’re entering a contested space where the other party has scripts ready - moral, political, emotional. Lincoln’s advice is to study those scripts, not to defeat them with louder logic but to anticipate them with respect.
The rhetorical power lies in its restraint. He doesn’t promise that empathy guarantees agreement; he implies it’s the price of admission. There’s also a democratic edge: the other man’s voice is treated as data, not noise. In an era when moral certainty often masqueraded as persuasion, Lincoln offers a colder, more effective truth: winning an argument starts with surrendering the fantasy that you’re the only mind in the room.
Coming from a president who navigated a fracturing republic, the line reads like field craft. Lincoln spent years arguing cases before juries and negotiating with rivals, then carried that habit into wartime politics where every coalition was brittle and every word could ignite. “Reason with a man” quietly acknowledges resistance: you’re not chatting, you’re entering a contested space where the other party has scripts ready - moral, political, emotional. Lincoln’s advice is to study those scripts, not to defeat them with louder logic but to anticipate them with respect.
The rhetorical power lies in its restraint. He doesn’t promise that empathy guarantees agreement; he implies it’s the price of admission. There’s also a democratic edge: the other man’s voice is treated as data, not noise. In an era when moral certainty often masqueraded as persuasion, Lincoln offers a colder, more effective truth: winning an argument starts with surrendering the fantasy that you’re the only mind in the room.
Quote Details
| Topic | Reason & Logic |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
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