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Motherhood Quote by Nancy Friday

"When I stopped seeing my mother through the eyes of a child, I saw the woman who helped me give birth to myself"

About this Quote

Adulthood begins, Nancy Friday implies, not when you pay your own bills but when you revise your origin story. The line pivots on a quiet but radical reframe: the mother is no longer a mythic caretaker viewed from below, but a whole person with limits, desires, compromises. That shift does not diminish the mother; it makes her consequential in a new way. Friday’s phrasing is a surgical inversion of the usual narrative where the mother “gives birth” to the child once and is done. Here, the child must be born twice: first physically, then psychologically, with the mother as midwife to autonomy.

The subtext is ambivalent and brave. “Stopped seeing” suggests a deliberate unlearning, a refusal of the comforting distortions of childhood. You can hear the friction: growing up requires a kind of betrayal of the old story in which your parents exist mainly to anchor you. But the payoff is intimacy of a sharper sort. Seeing the mother as “the woman” signals gendered, embodied reality, not just the role. It also hints at intergenerational continuity: the daughter’s selfhood is not an escape from the mother but a co-authored project.

Context matters. Friday built a career excavating women’s inner lives, especially around desire, motherhood, and female anger - territory long policed by sentimentality or shame. This sentence sits in that tradition: it offers liberation without villainizing the mother, acknowledging that becoming yourself often requires reinterpreting the person who first defined you. The “birth” metaphor does emotional work because it makes individuation feel visceral, risky, earned.

Quote Details

TopicMother
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Citation Formats

APA Style (7th ed.)
Friday, Nancy. (2026, January 16). When I stopped seeing my mother through the eyes of a child, I saw the woman who helped me give birth to myself. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/when-i-stopped-seeing-my-mother-through-the-eyes-105367/

Chicago Style
Friday, Nancy. "When I stopped seeing my mother through the eyes of a child, I saw the woman who helped me give birth to myself." FixQuotes. January 16, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/when-i-stopped-seeing-my-mother-through-the-eyes-105367/.

MLA Style (9th ed.)
"When I stopped seeing my mother through the eyes of a child, I saw the woman who helped me give birth to myself." FixQuotes, 16 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/when-i-stopped-seeing-my-mother-through-the-eyes-105367/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.

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About the Author

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Nancy Friday (August 27, 1933 - November 5, 2017) was a Author from USA.

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