"When I was a kid and got in trouble, I'd always say, Mom, I'm in trouble. Well, Mom, I'm in trouble"

"Weak minds sink under prosperity as well as adversity; but strong and deep ones have two high tides"

"Never trust a man who speaks well of everybody"

"A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body"

"The League is very well when sparrows shout, but no good at all when eagles fall out"

"If you want to eat well in England, eat three breakfasts"

"Problems are the price of progress. Don't bring me anything but trouble. Good news weakens me"

"My best friend is the man who in wishing me well wishes it for my sake"

"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it"

"The trouble with children is that they're not returnable"

"One has children in the expectation of dying before them. In fact, you want to make damn sure you die before them, just as you plant a tree or build a house knowing, hoping that it will outlive you. That's how the human species has done as well as it has"