"When Lee and Jack win, it is good for golf. When I win, it is better"

"The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf - it's almost a law"

"They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?"

"One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President"

"There is no life for girls in team sports past Little League. I got into tennis when I realized this, and because I thought golf would be too slow for me, and I was too scared to swim"

"I'd like to design something like a city or a museum. I want to do something hands on rather than just play golf which is the sport of the religious right"

"I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies"

"A golf course is the epitome of all that is purely transitory in the universe; a space not to dwell in, but to get over as quickly as possible"

"The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green"

"It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf"