"When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice"
About this Quote
Bellow is writing in a postwar America saturated with expertise and anxious about choice: psychologists, columnists, professors, and friends as informal tribunals. In that world, asking for advice can look like humility, but it can function like outsourcing moral risk. If the decision turns out badly, the blame gets distributed; if it turns out well, the advisor becomes a witness for the defense. The subtext is less "people are dishonest" than "people are scared of owning their desires". We want permission, not instruction.
The wit is in its stingy accuracy. Bellow compresses an entire social ritual into a legal metaphor, and that metaphor exposes the power dynamics of conversation: the asker isn't merely vulnerable; they're lobbying. It also implicates the listener. Being asked for advice flatters the ego, and flattery makes compliant co-signers of us all. In a culture that prizes individual agency, Bellow spots the workaround: we keep the freedom, but we try to borrow the absolution.
Quote Details
| Topic | Wisdom |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Bellow, Saul. (2026, January 18). When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/when-we-ask-for-advice-we-are-usually-looking-for-21148/
Chicago Style
Bellow, Saul. "When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice." FixQuotes. January 18, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/when-we-ask-for-advice-we-are-usually-looking-for-21148/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice." FixQuotes, 18 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/when-we-ask-for-advice-we-are-usually-looking-for-21148/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.









