"When you're 50 you start thinking about things you haven't thought about before. I used to think getting old was about vanity - but actually it's about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial"
About this Quote
The intent is corrective. O'Neill takes a culturally convenient story about aging (vanity, decline, the mirror) and replaces it with the uglier arithmetic of attachment: you age by subtraction. In subtext, he’s also indicting a society that sells “anti-aging” as if the problem were skin-deep. Wrinkles are “trivial” not because he’s above appearances, but because appearance is the only part of aging you can bargain with. Loss is non-negotiable.
Context matters: O'Neill’s dramas are built on families corroded by addiction, illness, and regret, and his own life was marked by relentless bereavement and estrangement. This isn’t inspirational acceptance; it’s a dramatist’s realism. He frames fifty as a threshold where denial gets harder to maintain, when the past becomes populated not just by memories but by absences.
What makes it work is the tonal misdirection. He begins with vanity, a topic we’re trained to treat as intimate and embarrassing, then reveals the deeper embarrassment: how unprepared we are for loving people who won’t stay. The last sentence lands like a stage direction: stop looking in the mirror; look around.
Quote Details
| Topic | Aging |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
O'Neill, Eugene. (2026, January 18). When you're 50 you start thinking about things you haven't thought about before. I used to think getting old was about vanity - but actually it's about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/when-youre-50-you-start-thinking-about-things-you-10254/
Chicago Style
O'Neill, Eugene. "When you're 50 you start thinking about things you haven't thought about before. I used to think getting old was about vanity - but actually it's about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial." FixQuotes. January 18, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/when-youre-50-you-start-thinking-about-things-you-10254/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"When you're 50 you start thinking about things you haven't thought about before. I used to think getting old was about vanity - but actually it's about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial." FixQuotes, 18 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/when-youre-50-you-start-thinking-about-things-you-10254/. Accessed 17 Feb. 2026.





