"Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them, they will forgive us everything, even our gigantic intellects"
About this Quote
The subtext is classic Wilde: courtship as performance, gender as theater, and sincerity as the one unforgivable faux pas. Men, in his telling, want their brilliance recognized; women, he suggests, understand that brilliance often arrives packaged with vanity, coldness, and self-regard. So defects become a kind of social lubricant, proof you are safe, human, and manipulable - a way to disarm the masculine ego without openly attacking it.
Context matters. Wilde is writing from the pressure-cooker of late-19th-century respectability, where marriage is a social contract and conversation is a competitive sport. His epigram punctures the pretension that intellect makes men superior. It is also self-mythmaking: Wilde, the celebrated mind, recasts himself as someone lovable not despite but because of his flaws, slyly asking the audience to forgive him in advance. The joke lands because it feels both cynical and true: we do not fall for resumes; we fall for the crack in the armor.
Quote Details
| Topic | Witty One-Liners |
|---|---|
| Source | Verified source: Lippincott's Monthly Magazine: The Picture of Dorian Gray (Oscar Wilde, 1890)
Evidence: "Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them, they will forgive us everything, even our intellects." (Chapter 15 (book version); in the 1890 magazine version it appears in the text (chaptering differs)). This line is spoken by Lord Henry Wotton to Lady Narborough in Oscar Wilde's novel The Picture of Dorian Gray. The earliest publication of Dorian Gray was in the July 1890 issue of Lippincott's Monthly Magazine (periodical/serial publication), with the expanded book edition published in April 1891. The commonly-circulated variant that adds the word "gigantic" ("gigantic intellects") appears to be a later paraphrase/alteration; the primary-text wording is "even our intellects." For an accessible primary-text transcription showing the immediate dialogue context, see the quoted passage at the provided URL. Publication context for first appearance (Lippincott's Monthly Magazine, July 1890) is corroborated by reference works describing the novel's publication history. Other candidates (1) OSCAR WILDE Ultimate Collection: 250+ Titles in One Edition (Oscar Wilde, 2023)95.0% ... Oscar Wilde Good Press. Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them they will forgive us everything,... |
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Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Wilde, Oscar. (2026, February 25). Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them, they will forgive us everything, even our gigantic intellects. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/women-love-us-for-our-defects-if-we-have-enough-37157/
Chicago Style
Wilde, Oscar. "Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them, they will forgive us everything, even our gigantic intellects." FixQuotes. February 25, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/women-love-us-for-our-defects-if-we-have-enough-37157/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them, they will forgive us everything, even our gigantic intellects." FixQuotes, 25 Feb. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/women-love-us-for-our-defects-if-we-have-enough-37157/. Accessed 7 Mar. 2026.







