"Words really flattering are not those which we prepare but those which escape us unthinkingly"
About this Quote
That idea fits de Lenclos's world and her brand. As a famous salonniere and courtesan in 17th-century France, she lived inside a culture where language was currency and social life was a perpetual audition. Compliments could be weapons, bribes, or formalities, deployed to climb, seduce, or survive. In that environment, the most valuable thing wasnt eloquence; it was the rare sensation of sincerity. Her sentence flatters the listener while also indicting the speaker: if you have to rehearse your admiration, maybe you are negotiating, not noticing.
The subtext is quietly ruthless. It warns that polished praise can be manipulative, and it raises the bar for intimacy: real esteem reveals itself in involuntary moments. Its also a little self-protective, a rule for reading people when everyone is trained to charm. De Lenclos turns a social anxiety into a social test: dont trust the compliment; trust the slip.
Quote Details
| Topic | Honesty & Integrity |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Lenclos, Ninon de. (2026, January 18). Words really flattering are not those which we prepare but those which escape us unthinkingly. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/words-really-flattering-are-not-those-which-we-8806/
Chicago Style
Lenclos, Ninon de. "Words really flattering are not those which we prepare but those which escape us unthinkingly." FixQuotes. January 18, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/words-really-flattering-are-not-those-which-we-8806/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"Words really flattering are not those which we prepare but those which escape us unthinkingly." FixQuotes, 18 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/words-really-flattering-are-not-those-which-we-8806/. Accessed 13 Feb. 2026.







