"You don't stay married for thirty-nine years because of sex or even because of love, but because your partner is a real friend to you, because they respect and regard you"
About this Quote
The pivot to “real friend” reframes marriage away from destiny and toward daily practice. Friendship isn’t a consolation prize here; it’s the infrastructure. It suggests shared humor, tolerable silences, mutual witness, and the ability to argue without contempt. Then she tightens the claim with “respect and regard you,” language that feels chosen by someone who has seen how affection without esteem curdles into control. “Regard” is the sleeper word: not just admiring your partner, but actively holding them in mind, treating their interior life as real even when it’s inconvenient.
As an actress who spent a career inhabiting families, compromises, and ordinary heartbreaks, Dukakis speaks with the authority of someone trained to notice what people do when they think no one’s watching. The intent isn’t to downplay romance; it’s to rescue commitment from romance’s mood swings, insisting that longevity is built less on chemistry than on character.
Quote Details
| Topic | Marriage |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Dukakis, Olympia. (2026, January 15). You don't stay married for thirty-nine years because of sex or even because of love, but because your partner is a real friend to you, because they respect and regard you. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/you-dont-stay-married-for-thirty-nine-years-153939/
Chicago Style
Dukakis, Olympia. "You don't stay married for thirty-nine years because of sex or even because of love, but because your partner is a real friend to you, because they respect and regard you." FixQuotes. January 15, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/you-dont-stay-married-for-thirty-nine-years-153939/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"You don't stay married for thirty-nine years because of sex or even because of love, but because your partner is a real friend to you, because they respect and regard you." FixQuotes, 15 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/you-dont-stay-married-for-thirty-nine-years-153939/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.














