"You need that guy like a giraffe needs strep throat"
About this Quote
The line lands because it weaponizes advice-column plainspokenness with a surreal, almost cartoonish image. Ann Landers isn’t offering a gentle nudge toward self-respect; she’s staging a demolition. “You need that guy” sets up the familiar script of romantic dependence, then the punchline yanks it into biological absurdity: a giraffe with strep throat. The mismatch is the point. A giraffe’s defining advantage is its long, elegant neck; strep throat attacks the very corridor that keeps it alive. The metaphor doesn’t just say the man is unnecessary - it implies he’s actively hazardous to the parts of you that let you function.
Landers wrote in an era when women were routinely coached to contort themselves around male moods and social expectations, and advice columns served as a kind of mass therapy for people who couldn’t say certain truths out loud. The humor provides cover for a hard message: stop dressing up dysfunction as devotion. Calling him “that guy” makes him generic, interchangeable, a type rather than a soulmate. That anonymity matters; it reframes the dilemma from “my unique love story” to “a recurring pattern women are socialized to tolerate.”
The subtext is boundary-setting with teeth. Landers isn’t asking you to weigh pros and cons; she’s short-circuiting the debate by making “need” sound ridiculous. It’s the rhetorical equivalent of grabbing a friend by the shoulders and saying: this isn’t romance, it’s infection.
Landers wrote in an era when women were routinely coached to contort themselves around male moods and social expectations, and advice columns served as a kind of mass therapy for people who couldn’t say certain truths out loud. The humor provides cover for a hard message: stop dressing up dysfunction as devotion. Calling him “that guy” makes him generic, interchangeable, a type rather than a soulmate. That anonymity matters; it reframes the dilemma from “my unique love story” to “a recurring pattern women are socialized to tolerate.”
The subtext is boundary-setting with teeth. Landers isn’t asking you to weigh pros and cons; she’s short-circuiting the debate by making “need” sound ridiculous. It’s the rhetorical equivalent of grabbing a friend by the shoulders and saying: this isn’t romance, it’s infection.
Quote Details
| Topic | Sarcastic |
|---|
More Quotes by Ann
Add to List





