"Your children will see what you're all about by what you live rather than what you say"
About this Quote
Dyer's specific intent is corrective: he's pulling authority away from the mouth and putting it back into behavior. It's a psychologist's move, really, smuggling in social learning theory through a sentence that sounds like folk wisdom. The subtext is mildly accusatory, and that's why it sticks. If you want your children to value honesty, kindness, restraint, curiosity, then your private defaults have to match your public ideals. Otherwise you're not just being inconsistent; you're teaching a different lesson: that values are performance, that adults say one thing and do another, that hypocrisy is normal.
Context matters. Dyer built a career translating therapeutic concepts into motivational language for mass audiences, and this is one of his cleanest translations. It speaks to late-20th-century self-help's pivot from fixing external circumstances to examining the self as the primary system to optimize. There's also a quiet egalitarianism here: children aren't empty vessels waiting for instruction. They're interpreters of lived reality, making sense of family culture from the evidence in front of them. The sentence works because it turns "be a good parent" into a concrete, uncomfortable ask: become the example you're hoping to outsource to your words.
Quote Details
| Topic | Parenting |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Dyer, Wayne. (2026, January 18). Your children will see what you're all about by what you live rather than what you say. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/your-children-will-see-what-youre-all-about-by-10780/
Chicago Style
Dyer, Wayne. "Your children will see what you're all about by what you live rather than what you say." FixQuotes. January 18, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/your-children-will-see-what-youre-all-about-by-10780/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"Your children will see what you're all about by what you live rather than what you say." FixQuotes, 18 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/your-children-will-see-what-youre-all-about-by-10780/. Accessed 4 Feb. 2026.








