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Life's Pleasures Quote by Dean Martin

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on"

About this Quote

The joke lands because it treats drunkenness like a physics problem: if gravity’s not forcing you to clutch the carpet, you’re fine. Dean Martin doesn’t deny intoxication; he simply redraws the boundary so absurdly low it becomes a get-out-of-jail-free card. That’s the specific intent: to turn a potentially shameful state into a punchline, one that lets the audience laugh at excess without having to look it directly in the eye.

The subtext is classic Martin. His public persona was effortless cool, a man who looked like he was coasting through a highball-and-cigarette universe in perfect control. This line protects that image by reframing “control” as something you can keep even while horizontal. It’s a comic trick, but also a social permission slip. In a culture that prized male composure, even self-destruction had to be performed with style. If you can lie down “without holding on,” you’re not failing; you’re choosing to relax.

Context matters: Martin came up in mid-century showbiz, when nightclub patter and television variety shows made drinking a prop as much as a habit. His “drunk” act was famously more act than fact, which sharpens the irony. The line isn’t an endorsement of getting plastered so much as a winking portrait of how entertainment normalizes it: laughter as camouflage, charm as alibi, and a neat little definition that makes the room complicit.

Quote Details

TopicWitty One-Liners
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Citation Formats

APA Style (7th ed.)
Martin, Dean. (2026, January 17). You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/youre-not-drunk-if-you-can-lie-on-the-floor-41029/

Chicago Style
Martin, Dean. "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." FixQuotes. January 17, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/youre-not-drunk-if-you-can-lie-on-the-floor-41029/.

MLA Style (9th ed.)
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." FixQuotes, 17 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/youre-not-drunk-if-you-can-lie-on-the-floor-41029/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.

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About the Author

Dean Martin

Dean Martin (June 7, 1917 - December 25, 1995) was a Actor from USA.

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