Book: On Civility in Children

Overview
Desiderius Erasmus’s On Civility in Children (1530) is a compact humanist manual that teaches boys how to conduct themselves so as to be agreeable, honorable, and considerate in daily life. Framed as practical instruction for youth yet attentive to moral formation, it links outward manners to inner virtue, arguing that civility is the visible companion of modesty, self-command, and charity. The treatise organizes social behavior into concrete, memorable precepts, how to sit, walk, eat, converse, and worship, so that courtesy becomes a habit rather than a performance.

Historical Context and Aim
Composed at a moment when schooling, print, and urban life were reshaping European customs, the book departs from knightly codes and oratorical decorum to focus on the ordinary interactions of households, classrooms, streets, and churches. Erasmus writes for boys destined for civic life, giving them a portable standard by which to avoid giving offense and to show respect without servility. He acknowledges that customs vary by region but insists that in all places civility rests on attention to others and restraint of one’s impulses.

Body, Speech, and Gesture
The work begins with the body, since the body speaks before words do. Keep a clean face, trimmed nails, and neat hair; avoid scratching, fidgeting, or indecent exposure. Hold the head upright without staring; let the eyes be modest, the countenance cheerful but not clownish. Cover the mouth when yawning, coughing, or sneezing; curb loud laughter and boisterous clapping. Spitting, nose-blowing, and other necessities are to be performed discreetly and away from company. Speech should be honest, respectful, and measured: do not interrupt, boast, swear, whisper in corners, or deride others; listen with attention and answer plainly, fitting your words to your company and place.

At Table
Because shared meals test character, Erasmus is exacting about table manners. Arrive clean, take your place without pushing, and salute your hosts. Do not reach across others, rummage in dishes, or choose the choicest morsels; accept what is offered and give thanks. Chew quietly, avoid talking with a full mouth, and use a napkin rather than your sleeve; fingers should not be licked or knives used as toys. Refrain from smelling dishes, gnawing bones like a dog, or making the tablecloth serve as towel or handkerchief. Drink temperately, shun drunkenness and coarse jokes, and show especial care to avoid disgusting or distracting others, for civility at table is charity in small things.

In Public and at School
On the street and in company, walk with steady gait, neither swaggering nor skulking. Give way to elders, remove your cap as occasion requires, and return greetings warmly. Do not crowd doorways, stare at passersby, or look back incessantly. In school, be punctual, obedient, and attentive; hold books cleanly, keep your bench tidy, and show deference to teachers without flattery. Games and play are allowed but should be fair, moderate, and free of insult, since even play discloses character.

Modesty, Sociability, and Rank
The thread binding the precepts is a humane modesty that prefers another’s comfort to one’s own display. Erasmus treats shame as a tutor: not a servile fear of censure but a vigilant regard for others. He constantly calibrates behavior by social rank and circumstance, respect to superiors, gentleness to inferiors, equable courtesy among equals, while warning against cringing obsequiousness or domineering airs. True civility arises from goodwill, not mere ceremony.

Religion and Morals
In church, posture and attention should express reverence: no idle chatter, wandering eyes, or careless spitting. Oaths are to be avoided; chaste, clean language is enjoined. Moderation governs appetite, sleep, dress, and amusements, so that the body serves reason and piety. These are not isolated edicts but a schooling of habit that makes virtue easier and vice harder.

Style and Legacy
The prose is brief, vivid, and concrete, favoring examples a boy can recall at the table or in the street. Erasmus’s method couples negative prohibitions with positive models, translating moral ideals into bodily discipline. The book became a pan-European bestseller, widely translated and imitated, and it helped crystallize early modern notions of politeness in domestic and civic life. Its enduring insight is that civility is a public practice of private virtue, learned in small acts and revealed in every gesture.