Book: Sexual Integrity

Overview
Edwin Louis Cole’s 1993 book Sexual Integrity addresses the moral and spiritual confusion surrounding sex by calling men to align their desires, decisions, and behavior with biblical truth. Written by a pioneer of the Christian men’s movement, it treats sexuality not as a private itch to be scratched but as a defining arena for character, discipleship, and leadership. Cole argues that sexual wholeness is central to authentic manhood and healthy families, and that integrity, not impulse, must govern a man’s life.

What Integrity Means
Cole defines integrity as wholeness: what a man is in private matches what he professes in public. Sexual integrity is the integration of passion under principle, bringing appetites, imagination, and actions under God’s authority. Lust fractures the person, turning others into objects and promises into commodities. Love, by contrast, seeks covenant, honors women, keeps commitments, and sacrifices. The book’s core claim is that a man’s sexual choices expose his true values and determine his legacy.

Biblical Frame
The argument is grounded in Scripture’s vision of creation, covenant, and holiness. Sex is presented as God’s good gift, designed for the safety and joy of marriage. Sin distorts desire and damages relationships, but grace brings cleansing and power to change. Cole emphasizes repentance as an ongoing posture, the renewing of the mind through truth, and dependence on the Holy Spirit for self-mastery. He stresses that righteousness is not only avoidance of wrong but the active pursuit of what is good, pure, and honoring to others.

Character and Self-Mastery
A recurring theme is discipline. Cole insists that the same qualities that make a man dependable in work, delayed gratification, focus, and responsibility, must govern his sexuality. He challenges rationalizations, secrecy, and isolation, urging men to “flee” temptation rather than negotiate with it. Guarding the eyes, stewarding imagination, and ordering media consumption are treated as serious spiritual work. Purpose and vision help dilute the power of temptation: a man occupied with service and mission has less space for indulgence.

Marriage and Singleness
For husbands, sexual integrity means fidelity, tenderness, and mutual honor. Cole ties intimacy to trust, communication, and sacrificial love, arguing that leadership is expressed through service, not control. For singles, he advocates patience, clear boundaries, and valuing a future spouse by present obedience. He challenges a consumer approach to dating, inviting men to become the kind of person their future commitments require.

Cultural Critique and Consequences
Cole writes against the backdrop of the late twentieth century’s sexual permissiveness, warning that pornography, casual sex, and adultery fragment souls and families. He links personal compromise to social fallout, fatherlessness, broken homes, and the erosion of trust, and urges men to be countercultural by embodying covenant faithfulness. Integrity is presented not as repression but as ordered freedom, enabling joy without regret.

Restoration and Hope
While forthright about sin’s damage, the book is pastoral in its insistence on mercy. Cole offers a path for those who have failed: honest confession, accountability with trustworthy men, practical boundaries, and sustained spiritual disciplines. He portrays the church as a healing community where shame is displaced by responsibility and growth. Sexual integrity becomes both a personal transformation and a generational gift, shaping sons, daughters, and the wider culture.

Tone and Impact
Direct, Scripture-saturated, and intensely practical, Sexual Integrity blends exhortation with encouragement. It seeks to form men who are the same wherever they stand, before God, before family, and before the world, so that their strength blesses rather than wounds, and their desires serve love rather than consume it.