Funny Quotes

"The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby"

"That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard"

"I spent a year in that town, one Sunday"

"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city"

"If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?"

"If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?"

"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific"

"I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own"