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Humor & Life Quote by Dave Attell

"Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick"

About this Quote

Attell’s line is a street-level philosophy of reputation: no matter how carefully you curate your behavior, someone will still hand you the villain edit. The bluntness isn’t just for shock; “dick” is the perfect lowbrow gavel. It’s quick, social, and final - a verdict that doesn’t require evidence, just vibes. In a single insult, he captures how moral judgment often works in public life: less like a courtroom, more like a comment section.

The intent is defensive and liberating at once. By declaring the inevitability of being disliked, Attell punctures the fantasy that good conduct guarantees good reception. The subtext is a comic shrug at the exhausting labor of self-policing. If condemnation is baked in, then the obsessive performance of niceness starts to look like wasted effort - or worse, a kind of cowardice.

Context matters: Attell is a comedian whose brand is late-night honesty and anti-pretense. In comedy, especially the kind that courts discomfort, “being a dick” is both a risk and a badge. The line reads like a permission slip for truth-telling: if the audience is going to misread you anyway, you might as well be clear, funny, and unafraid.

It also lands as a capsule summary of modern social dynamics. We live in an era where intention is negotiable, screenshots are forever, and strangers feel licensed to assign character. Attell doesn’t moralize about that; he just calls it what it is - and the accuracy is the joke.

Quote Details

TopicWitty One-Liners
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Citation Formats

APA Style (7th ed.)
Attell, Dave. (n.d.). Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/doesnt-matter-what-you-say-or-do-people-can-135525/

Chicago Style
Attell, Dave. "Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick." FixQuotes. Accessed February 2, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/doesnt-matter-what-you-say-or-do-people-can-135525/.

MLA Style (9th ed.)
"Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick." FixQuotes, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/doesnt-matter-what-you-say-or-do-people-can-135525/. Accessed 2 Feb. 2026.

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About the Author

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Dave Attell (born January 18, 1965) is a Comedian from USA.

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