"Don't abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism"
About this Quote
The intent is corrective, but not gentle. Howe isn’t defending fragile feelings; he’s defending the moral contract of friendship. Real critique presumes a shared goal (your improvement, your well-being, the relationship’s health). Abuse presumes dominance. The sentence’s sting comes from its refusal to let the abuser launder aggression through the language of truth-telling. It’s an early callout of a dynamic we’d now recognize in “I’m just being honest” culture: the belief that harshness automatically equals authenticity.
There’s also a professional subtext. Editors work in a world where sharp feedback is necessary, but the best of it is precise, bounded, and aimed at the work - not the person. Howe implies that interpersonal criticism should meet a similar standard: accuracy, restraint, and a baseline of respect. If you’re swinging for humiliation, don’t act surprised when the friendship doesn’t treat it as helpful copyediting.
Context matters: late-19th/early-20th century American public life prized plain talk, sometimes to the point of brutality. Howe’s wit draws a line between forthrightness and meanness - and exposes how often people cross it while demanding applause for their “candor.”
Quote Details
| Topic | Friendship |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Howe, Edgar Watson. (2026, January 15). Don't abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/dont-abuse-your-friends-and-expect-them-to-50070/
Chicago Style
Howe, Edgar Watson. "Don't abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism." FixQuotes. January 15, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/dont-abuse-your-friends-and-expect-them-to-50070/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"Don't abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism." FixQuotes, 15 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/dont-abuse-your-friends-and-expect-them-to-50070/. Accessed 22 Feb. 2026.









