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Humor & Life Quote by Steven Wright

"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time"

About this Quote

Steven Wright’s line works because it sounds like a motivational poster until you actually picture it. “Everywhere is within walking distance” is the kind of breezy promise we associate with self-help optimism or travel flexing. Then he snaps the logic shut with the deadpan qualifier: “if you have the time.” Suddenly the grand claim collapses into a literal truth so obvious it becomes ridiculous, and that’s the point. Wright’s comedy thrives on treating language like a math problem, following it to a conclusion that’s technically correct and socially useless.

The intent isn’t to inspire you to walk across continents; it’s to expose how easily we confuse possibility with practicality. Time is the hidden price tag on every dream, every plan, every “you can do anything” slogan. By making time the only condition, he reframes ambition as a scheduling issue, not a character issue. That’s both funny and faintly bleak: the universe isn’t blocking you, your calendar is.

The subtext is a gentle roast of modern impatience. We live inside shortcuts: deliveries, express lanes, life hacks, five-minute abs. Wright’s sentence drags us back to a pre-accelerated reality where distance is real and time is the one resource you can’t borrow without consequences. Context matters here: coming out of late-20th-century American stand-up, Wright’s minimalist surrealism reads like a defense mechanism against a culture addicted to big talk. The joke lands because it punctures a familiar kind of inspirational certainty with a single, devastating constraint.

Quote Details

TopicWitty One-Liners
Source
Verified source: Steven Wright Special (Steven Wright, 1985)
Text match: 95.00%   Provider: Cross-Reference
Evidence:
Everywhere is walking distance if you've got the time.. Earliest primary-source lead I could verify in a source that explicitly attributes it to a specific Steven Wright performance is the 1985 TV performance listed as “Steven Wright Special (1985)” on Wikiquote. Note the wording there is “Everywhere is walking distance if you've got the time,” which is a common variant of the more widely circulated “Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.” I could not verify (from an accessible transcript/official release page in this search) a specific first-broadcast date, network, venue, or an official transcript/page reference. Many secondary quote sites attribute it generally to stand-up and some loosely to the 1985 album 'I Have a Pony,' but I did not find a verifiable primary-text snippet tying this exact line to the album in the materials surfaced here.
Other candidates (1)
Banding Together for a Cause (Rachel Armbruster, 2011) compilation95.0%
... Steven Wright once said, “Everywhere is within walking distance, if you have the time!” In Creating Relational Ca...
Cite

Citation Formats

APA Style (7th ed.)
Wright, Steven. (2026, February 8). Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/everywhere-is-within-walking-distance-if-you-have-1930/

Chicago Style
Wright, Steven. "Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time." FixQuotes. February 8, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/everywhere-is-within-walking-distance-if-you-have-1930/.

MLA Style (9th ed.)
"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time." FixQuotes, 8 Feb. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/everywhere-is-within-walking-distance-if-you-have-1930/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.

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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time
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About the Author

Steven Wright

Steven Wright (born December 6, 1955) is a Comedian from USA.

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