"I just loved being divorced from my own wretchedness"

The line, “I just loved being divorced from my own wretchedness,” from Beth Henley, suggests a profound sense of relief and liberation. It encapsulates the pleasure of escaping the oppressive weight of one’s own suffering. The use of the word “divorced” is especially telling—as if wretchedness were a partner in an unhappy marriage, a relentless companion from whom one wishes to separate. Henley evokes the experience of being so enmeshed with your own pain that it becomes intrinsic to your identity, a burdensome presence shadowing your every move.

To be “divorced” here implies a conscious, perhaps difficult, but ultimately freeing decision to step away from the cycle of despair or self-loathing. This separation brings with it not just neutrality, but genuine enjoyment—a “love” for the state of being unshackled from what had previously felt inescapable. It acknowledges the human tendency to become attached, even addicted, to suffering, to internal narratives of misery that sometimes feel safer or more familiar than the unknowns of happiness or peace.

Her words recognize that personal liberation does not always come from external change; sometimes, the most significant transformations happen internally, when one detaches from the habitual rehearsing of one’s flaws and misfortunes. Such detachment isn’t denial, but rather a choice to disinvest from suffering as a defining trait. There is a sweetness in that detachment, a new perspective that grants the ability to see oneself apart from pain, to recognize possibilities previously obscured by habitual wretchedness.

Henley’s phrasing ultimately captures the paradox that sometimes, freedom is not found in acquiring something new but in relinquishing an old pain. The “love” derived from this act is both a celebration and a revelation—a recognition of wholeness rediscovered when one lets go of self-inflicted misery.