"I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once"
About this Quote
The specific intent is to get a laugh from misapplied logic: cords don’t work like that, jokes don’t travel through copper, and everyone knows it. The subtext is more interesting. Hedberg is quietly absolving himself of the traditional stand-up burden to “craft” a seamless argument. His persona isn’t the preacher, the prosecutor, the social critic; it’s the distracted inventor who keeps discovering jokes rather than composing them. If the jokes arrive “all at once,” he’s not rambling - he’s releasing pressure.
Context matters because Hedberg’s style was famously staccato and modular: one-liners that felt like they could be rearranged, dropped, or repeated without breaking a narrative arc. The mic cord bit literalizes that structure. It also nods to the awkwardness of live performance - the cord, the hands, the fidgeting - and converts it into material, making stage anxiety look like a deliberate method. In a culture that often treats comedians as truth-tellers, Hedberg opts for something more subversive: the comic as conduit, not oracle, letting nonsense masquerade as an engineering problem and calling it a set.
Quote Details
| Topic | Witty One-Liners |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Hedberg, Mitch. (2026, January 18). I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-like-to-hold-the-microphone-cord-like-this-i-933/
Chicago Style
Hedberg, Mitch. "I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once." FixQuotes. January 18, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-like-to-hold-the-microphone-cord-like-this-i-933/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once." FixQuotes, 18 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-like-to-hold-the-microphone-cord-like-this-i-933/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.


