"I never deny. I never contradict. I sometimes forget"

Benjamin Disraeli’s words, “I never deny. I never contradict. I sometimes forget,” offer a nuanced insight into the art of navigating disagreement and conflict, subtly revealing strategies for maintaining harmony or advantage in social and political interactions. Rather than openly denying or contradicting someone else’s perspective or assertion, the speaker chooses a path of tacit avoidance, using selective memory as a tool to sidestep confrontation or discomfort.

Implicit in this statement is a careful balancing act between honesty and diplomacy. Denial and contradiction are both direct responses that can provoke resistance, animosity, or escalation. By avoiding these, the individual seems to sidestep entanglements that could lead to conflict, while leaving open the possibility of ambiguity. This approach preserves a kind of social or political flexibility, allowing the speaker to avoid being pinned down to any specific stance, while also preventing the tension that comes from openly opposing someone.

Forgetting, in this context, becomes a gentle, even crafty means of omission. Claiming to have forgotten allows one to avoid making firm statements or taking positions that could later become inconvenient or controversial. It’s a way of neither affirming nor outright rejecting, of leaving matters unresolved without appearing overtly evasive.

The phrase also reflects a deeper understanding of human memory and perception in conversation. Memory can always be fallible; “forgetting” provides a ready-made excuse that is difficult to challenge, fostering plausible deniability. It hints at the complexities of truth and manipulation, suggesting that one’s recollection may be shaped as much by intent as by true memory lapses.

Ultimately, Disraeli’s aphorism serves as both a self-aware admission and a wry commentary on political maneuvering. It reflects the subtlety required to thrive in environments where directness can be a liability, and where ambiguity, selective recall, and non-confrontation often dictate success and survival.