"I remember being onstage once when I didn't have fear: I got so scared I didn't have fear that it brought on an anxiety attack"

Carly Simon’s reflection explores the complex relationship between fear and performance. Typically, performers expect some degree of nervousness before stepping on stage; this anxiety often sharpens their focus, energizes their delivery, or even reassures them of their engagement with the moment. For Simon, discovering its absence became deeply unsettling. Instead of relief, she felt alarm, as if lacking fear disrupted her natural balance or internalized rituals for performing.

The experience suggests that fear is not always a negative force. In certain contexts, it is a familiar companion, a sign of investment, presence, or emotional connection. When Simon found herself devoid of this sensation onstage, the void left her off-kilter. The fear of not feeling fear became a feedback loop, intensifying her unease to the point of an anxiety attack. It was as if the absence of a customary emotion signaled a loss of control, making her even more vulnerable. The expected challenge had disappeared, introducing a different uncertainty. Her mind quickly raced to fill that gap with a new, acute anxiety.

Simon’s anecdote highlights how rituals and anticipated feelings, even those that seem negative, help us orient ourselves under pressure. The sudden shift from familiar nervousness to unexpected calmness reveals how psychological preparations depend on a set of emotions and expectations. For many performers, recognizing and managing their fear is part of the craft. Without it, they may question their readiness, authenticity, or intensity of connection to the material and audience.

The story also points to the paradoxical nature of anxiety. Occasionally, it is not the presence of fear but its absence that disturbs us, revealing our reliance on the feeling to mark transitions or signify importance. In Simon’s case, her stage fright was woven into her identity as a performer, so much so that losing it unnerved her more profoundly than stage fright itself.