"I suppose for whatever reason I actively welcome being put down, something which perhaps goes back to my upbringing - that accusation of not being worthy which could be laid at one's door"

This quote by Paul Muldoon suggests that he has a deep-seated belief that he is not worthwhile, which he thinks might have been instilled in him during his training. He goes on to say that he actively invites being put down, which could be seen as a way of strengthening this belief. This could be a form of self-sabotage, as he is actively looking for scenarios which will make him feel unworthy. It might likewise be a method of securing himself from prospective dissatisfaction, as he is expecting to be put down therefore is not setting himself up for failure. Whatever the reason, it is clear that Paul Muldoon has a deep-seated belief that he is not deserving, which he thinks may have been instilled in him throughout his upbringing.