"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury"
About this Quote
The joke's mechanics are clean. It hinges on a courtroom logic swap: marriage is framed as a trial, and the punchline implies conviction is inevitable unless you can persuade twelve strangers to save you. A judge suggests a single, unimpeachable verdict; a jury suggests wiggle room, sympathy, maybe even a hung decision. It's not just "marriage is hard". It's "marriage is a system that quietly removes your appeals process."
Subtext-wise, it's classic Marx: anarchic skepticism toward institutions, especially the ones that promise stability. The line also needles masculinity and domestic expectations of his era, when marriage was sold as a respectable endpoint and comedians mined the gap between that sales pitch and the lived reality of compromise, obligation, and power dynamics at home. Groucho's persona thrives on undercutting the ceremonial with the transactional, as if intimacy is another contract you signed without reading the fine print.
Context matters: this is old-school stage cynicism sharpened for mass entertainment, a one-liner that lets audiences laugh at their own fear that the "happily ever after" might just be a lifelong deposition.
Quote Details
| Topic | Witty One-Liners |
|---|---|
| Source | Attributed to Groucho Marx — short epigram commonly cited in quotation collections; listed on Wikiquote (Groucho Marx page). |
| Cite |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Marx, Groucho. (2026, January 15). I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-was-married-by-a-judge-i-should-have-asked-for-7430/
Chicago Style
Marx, Groucho. "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." FixQuotes. January 15, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-was-married-by-a-judge-i-should-have-asked-for-7430/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." FixQuotes, 15 Jan. 2026, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/i-was-married-by-a-judge-i-should-have-asked-for-7430/. Accessed 12 Feb. 2026.



